Coffee
by Creme Caramel
Summary: One peaceful morning, Jeremy discovers the wonders a single cup of coffee can do. Oneshot.


_A/N: So this is just a random idea that popped into my head while I was reading. Not sure if it's funny enough; Humor and I don't get along. Anyway, great thanks to _CleoCorinne _for inspiring me and _Barbiegirl2435_ for being the main motivation for me to write this. The rest of you: Enjoy and tell me what you think!_

Disclaimer: I do not own 'Barbie and The Diamond Castle' or its characters, nor do I benefit from writing this.

_Coffee_

_One peaceful morning, Jeremy discovers the wonders a single cup of coffee can do._

One morning, Jeremy woke up to a strange smell coming from the kitchen. And it certainly wasn't just a smell resulting from one of Liana's failed attempts at inventing a new dish, because the more he inhaled, the more awake he became. What kind of food could it be?

Jeremy turned to his side; Liana was still sound asleep, breathing in and out at a normal pace. He assumed she must have inhaled as much of that smell as he did, but by some miracle managed to continue her slumber unaffected.

Seriously, was he the only one who found the smell disturbing? And so in a moment of weakness and sheer curiosity, mingled with a drop of annoyance, Jeremy fought back the little morning sleepiness left in him and wandered into the kitchen, where the culprit sat in the form of an innocent white cup of coffee sitting on the kitchen counter, just waiting for someone to pass by and drink it.

And then it struck him. Liana had once told him about her coffee addiction. For her, a cup of coffee in the morning was a must-have, unless she wanted to spend her entire day in a half-asleep state. That state wasn't acceptable, especially when she had to concentrate on selling flowers for a living. One miscounted penny and the consequences might be severe.

"Why is she always drinking coffee? Why can't she drink tea like a normal person?" He wondered. "Tea is obviously better. At least it doesn't smell as bad as this."

But as much as he hated Liana's taste in drinks, Jeremy found the white little cup in front of him extremely… tempting, no matter how obnoxious the smell was. That chocolate color… Maybe one sip wouldn't hurt… He moved an inch closer, ready to grab the cup when a voice in his head stopped him.

"Touch my coffee and I swear it'll be the last thing you'll ever taste."

Jeremy sighed and retreated his hand. It was a bit degrading how a tall, strong, muscular man like himself was scared out of his wits of a girl like Liana, but he couldn't help it. How Liana had managed to frighten him like that was beyond him, though. She was without a doubt the sweetest and loveliest girl he had ever had the chance to meet, but the girl could be pretty damn scary when she wanted to. He wouldn't want that to happen. And so he decided. He would not touch her coffee.

Absolutely not.

Against Liana's warnings, Jeremy let his temptation win the struggle and took a sip of coffee. A decision which he immediately regretted, because the coffee tasted so bitter he started questioning why in the world would anyone enjoy it, let alone develop an addiction to it. That freak of nature.

In that exact moment, Ian walked past him and interrupted his train of thoughts by simply asking, "What's that?" with an innocent face, as if he had never laid eyes on anything like that before.

"Liana's coffee," Jeremy stated matter-of-factly. Perhaps he wasn't the only person lured to the kitchen by that horrible smell, after all.

Ian took a step closer and, like his brother had just done moments earlier, began to sniff the cup. Jeremy had expected a negative reaction to the disturbing odor, but on the contrary, Ian seemed to enjoy the smell of coffee. And so Jeremy was sure: He was the only person in the house who hated coffee with a deep passion.

"Don't touch it, unless you want to know how a broom tastes like. Trust me, I know." He warned Ian.

"What makes you think I want to touch it?" Ian asked, retreating back with an indifferent attitude, but Jeremy failed to see from the look on his face that the guy was dying for a drop of coffee. "Don't worry, I won't."

Fully confident that his advice had been taken, Jeremy left Ian standing in the kitchen and returned to his bedroom, where Liana was still sleeping. He crawled onto the bed, gently brushed a strand of hair from her face and kissed her forehead. Liana mumbled as her eyes fluttered open.

"Jeremy? You're up so early," She said, fighting back a yawn.

"I couldn't sleep," He elaborated. "Sorry I woke you up."

"It's okay," She answered. "I think I slept in enough for today, anyway. I better go get breakfast before it turns into a brunch."

She sat up and got off the bed, but Jeremy's hand grabbed her wrist, abruptly pulling her back onto the bed.

"No need to; I'm not hungry." He said, his hands trailing on her arms. "Let's stay here a little longer."

"You're not hungry, but I am!" She laughed. "Seriously, Jeremy, you're acting so childish." He pouted at her comment, which made her laugh even harder.

"Hungry? I can fix that. I bet you're hungry for this…" He moved closer so that his face was only inches away from hers. And the next thing Liana felt was the pleasant feeling of his lips against hers.

"Oh, you naughty boy," Liana smirked after they were done with their daily make out session.

"Well, I…" Jeremy said, but a sound of broken porcelain interrupted him and startled Liana, who immediately sat up, trying to figure out who- or what- caused the noise.

"What just happened?" She asked, eyes wide open with bewilderment.

"I don't know."

Then Jeremy noticed Liana's bewildered expression change into a frown. "Jeremy, what's that smell?"

"What smell?" He asked, trying to sound as innocent and oblivious as he could, because he had just realized the person guilty for breaking the porcelain object. He also knew better than anyone where the smell and the noise came from.

He watched as Liana continued to inhale more of that obnoxious odor before finally recognizing what it was. "That smell! My coffee! Jeremy, what did you do to my coffee?" She said, sending him a oh-you're-so-sleeping-on-the-couch-tonight look. Jeremy winced.

"IthinkIandranksome," He answered, avoiding her gaze.

"What?" Liana asked, turning over the covers of their bed, showing her husband she was ready to go and grab the broom in the kitchen unless he made his explanation clear.

"I think Ian drank some," He slowly repeated, preparing all his physical and mental strength for a huge anger outburst from Liana. Nothing came, so he pushed his luck. "And I did, too. But I only took a sip." He added quickly as he saw her eyes widen in disbelief.

"Jeremy, I only went back to bed for a minute and you've already messed with my coffee? I thought I clearly told you to…"

She never got to finish the sentence, because a loud noise that sounded a lot like shattered glass interrupted her. Through the window, Ian was seen dancing around in all his coffee craze glory.

"HEY LIANA! HEY JERRY! OH BROTHER, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS TASTES LIKE HEAVEN? WOOHOO!" And with that, he danced away.

He danced away, and all that they could hear was the sound of more breaking glass.

Seconds later, they heard footsteps outside and a disoriented Alexa appeared, still carrying a basket of vegetables she had bought earlier that morning.

"No, Ian! Stop! You're ruining our greenhouse! No! Jeremy, why did you do that? I told you specifically not to leave him alone in the kitchen for more than 10 seconds! Now look what he's done!" She scolded Jeremy before rushing after Ian again, in hopes of saving their greenhouse from an imminent desctruction.

"The greenhouse? This can't be good…" Jeremy muttered. "Why is everyone blaming me for this, though?"

"That's it! This is the last time I let you come near my breakfast!" Liana growled at Jeremy as she quickly got dressed to help Alexa.

"That's what you said last week," He pointed out casually. "when he broke the sink and flooded half the house."

For a moment, Liana looked as if she was willing to punch the living daylights out of him for mentioning that awful experience, but decided against it. Her garden needed her more right now. So instead she rolled her eyes, turned on her heels and ran out of the room.

Left alone, Jeremy shrugged and threw himself on his bed. Closing his eyes and trying to drown out the cacophony coming out from outside, he mused. "I love my life. Never a dull moment."

_P/S: The characters are making a big deal out of a single cup of coffee, I know. Anyway, I typed this a while ago, but never got the chance to post it. Just want you to know I'm uber busy right now, so don't expect regular updates to 'Honeymoon in the Wild'. Hope you enjoyed reading this little oneshot as much as I enjoyed writing it! _


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